Pat yourself on the back

As self-critical, problem solvers our ADHD focus tends towards faults and problems. Recognise your successes.

ADHD Coaching

Clients see real wins in weeks - focus develops, goals stick, success grows

Pat on your ADHD Back
Written by
Andrew Lewis
ADHD Business Coach with 16,000+ hours of ADHD coaching experience

It takes practice to appreciate our successes!

For those with ADHD, our confidence may be high when we are hyper-focused on an exciting new project but often we struggle to celebrate any wins. Our neurological wiring predisposes us toward perfectionism; we're natural trouble-shooters designed to detect flaws, resolve complications, and pursue that elusive state of "complete satisfaction." This problem-solving strength enables remarkable achievements but simultaneously traps us in a cycle of self-criticism: the unfinished project glares at us, the overlooked detail haunts us, and the goalpost perpetually shifts further away just as we approach it.

What we rarely acknowledge is how frequently we excel—often with greater innovation, intuition, adaptability, and ingenuity than neurotypical minds. Our divergent thinking patterns occasionally produce solutions others simply cannot envision.

Low self-esteem

Stop automatically criticising your efforts in missing perfection and start to reflect upon your victories, even modest ones. Reserve five minutes at day's end—either in solitude or with a supportive companion—to identify moments of personal success. The discoveries might astonish you: perhaps you crafted that difficult email with unexpected diplomacy, prepared an awesome healthy meal, read you child a child's bedtime story as an immersive adventure, clarified a complex concept for a lost colleague, or maybe maintained your medication routine for a week. Achievements deserve recognition whatever the scale.

Practice re-wiring your brain

This practice extends beyond momentary satisfaction—it's rewiring neural pathways to recognize personal value. When you deliberately acknowledge accomplishment with praise (even something as simple as verbalizing "well done" to yourself), you're establishing new cognitive connections. The brain begins anticipating this reward, gradually transforming once-daunting tasks into sources of potential satisfaction.

This isn't forced positivity—it's neurological recalibration through consistent reinforcement. The formerly overwhelming report becomes an opportunity to demonstrate your analytical strengths; the dreaded social interaction becomes a chance to exercise your spontaneous wit and empathy. By recognizing your capabilities, you're not merely celebrating past actions—you're constructing a foundation for future confidence. Take this moment to appreciate yourself and build your confidence and optimism.

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Andrew Lewis is an Adult ADHD Coach, writer and founder of SimplyWellbeing. He has over 16,000 hours of experience in coaching over 600 adults with ADHD. Andrew helps entrepreneurs and creatives with ADHD thrive and achieve wellbeing and is always happy to have a free chat to discuss coaching. Andrew ran a major ADHD support group and even an ADHD diagnostic clinic for a while. Andrew is an adult ADHD Coach backed with business expertise from a twenty years career in software, from roles in programming, through marketing, sales at IBM, then to running a few software start-ups.

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