Being grateful is a wonderful, quick way to improve your mood. We are bombarded by negative and fearful messages in both mainstream and social media. Our ADHD brains naturally gravitate towards the more stimulating (unfortunately) negative emotions and ignore the positive. To be grateful is to choose the positive, to reflect on the good things in life - sunshine, Netflix, reading this post now on the internet, friends, dishwashers - over the negative, even just for a moment.
I am grateful to have been a part, sometimes briefly, sometimes for years, of the lives of the many interesting, diverse, funny, talented ADHD adults that I have coached. Thankfully here are a few "thank you's" from my clients…
I appreciate I often sounded like a broken record, yet you always had the patience to hear me out and offer reassurance despite how boring that must have been for you. The experience was truly life changing, and I’m still in disbelief how much shifted over the course of the sessions.
When we started coaching I remember having weeks of insomnia, feeling trapped in a cycle of overworking and burning out, feeling totally reliant on medication, low in confidence, and having self hatred for having ADHD. By the end of the year with you, I’m now not a workaholic – hooray! Have a healthy work-life balance, don’t work ANY overtime, am off meds, feel wholehearted self acceptance for my ADHD (and see it as a superpower), have stepped back from a lot of responsibility at work, and found another part time role which is a dream job, and have far better sleep with only occasional insomnia.
I’m so grateful for all your support getting to this point which I didn’t think was even possible! I couldn’t have asked for a better coach and I'm totally evangelical about coaching through Access to Work, to all my friends who struggle with ADHD. Thanks for everything."
Andrew has been a brilliant sounding board for my ideas and helped me crystallising and completing projects that were previously stagnant or buried and confused in a melange of infinite options. Andrew interacts with people from a shared understanding of their issues. He shows an honest interest in other’s lives and I found in my sessions with him that he is always open and keen to listen without any precondition or judgement in a very empathic style. This created for me a very safe environment in which to share my issues and worries, helping me escaping negative-thought patterns, and encouraging me to explore potential approaches to problems in a dispassionate way.
I also found in him a constant challenge that allowed me to explore new areas or confront sometimes-recurring issues in new ways. I particularly like the fact that Andrew coaches you to develop ‘solutions’ that work in your particular context, rather than providing ‘magic pills’. This was particularly useful for me as it also had the indirect effect of helping me utilising my creative side and developing my self-esteem. I wholeheartedly recommend his coaching to anybody struggling with attention, organisation and self-esteem problems as well as those that are trying to get some clarify when facing challenging choices and options."
I feel like sending you flowers or something.
People with ADHD are often not understood at all by people without it. I think you having it and (crude as it may be to admit) also being a rigorous rational intelligent and warm-hearted person means you really understand precisely what I need.
I always benefit from our sessions!"
OK, I don’t mean he knew it 'all', but he knew about ADD and the sorts of behaviours you would end up doing and not doing, and he didn’t have that sort of cautious, take-a-step-back, sharp-intake-of-breath, “omigod what have we got here” tone to his voice when I explained my “issues”. He just laughed sympathetically. So much more efficient. So we could get down to some useful work straight away.
He propelled me into getting my two businesses (why have one when you can have two) off the ground and got me to see the links and how they will merge into one eventually. He praised me when I’d achieved something that I’d not even recognised as a “thing”, let alone something I’d achieved. And he helped me to get clear on what to do next.
All this and a nice phone voice too – I’ve never even met him in person but coaching on the phone worked great!"
Andrew, I wanted to thank you for the coaching sessions I’ve had with you.
Before I spoke to you, my life was chaotic, I was falling behind with my studying, the housework was piling up, everything felt precarious, as though the whole structure could collapse at any moment.
The strategies you gave me have helped me to gain some control and I am now working out my own strategies to increase that control.
Listening to you talk of ADHD has given me both an understanding of ADHD and the various impacts it can have on someone’s life and a language to talk about how it affects me. Both my father and sibling have ADHD. Since your coaching, I am more able to talk to them, I am more tolerant of their problems and discussing ADHD issues with them has increased our understanding of each other and brought us closer together.
Since you have also educated my mother in the scale of the difficulties I face, she is more able to support me and realises how much effort I am putting in to overcoming my ADHD issues.
I have enjoyed talking to you. The education has been a real help, but more than that is the fact that you so obviously have a happy and fulfilled life, even though, like me, you have ADHD. When things are difficult or I feel depressed, I remember this and it gives me hope that one day I may get there myself."
I worked with Andrew for over a year intensively, as I was studying for an online MA in creative writing. He is great and very understanding of the issues that people with ADHD face, and is very encouraging.
He helps you break down tasks into manageable portions and to talk through the overview. I find him sympathetic and positive, and it is a real relief to speak to someone who understands and doesn’t judge the issues that people with ADHD face.
I am a writer and trained as an artist. He can help you organize your life so that you are in a position to be creative and productive. I am really glad for the time I worked with Andrew. I learnt a lot from it."
Hi Andrew. I just wanted to say a MASSIVE thank you for all your help and advice you have given me over the phone and at your support group. I hope for a much better future and still come to your support groups to hear you talk. I can’t thank you enough for helping me get my life and relationship back on track :)"
Andrew, It is 9 months since I googled “adult ADHD coach” and SimplyWellbeing.com was returned. I want you to know what a HUGE difference you have made to all of us (me included). Getting in touch with you was one of the most positive things we have done since our children were born.
Prior to that internet search, both children had been in trouble with the police and suffered from addictions, both had been diagnosed as depressed, my husband was retreating further into himself, worlds away from the happy, outgoing person I had known 30 years ago and I felt control slipping away, no matter how hard I worked to keep on top of things.
Re-reading the above makes me cry – we have moved on so far from that difficult, stressful, awful time. I felt as though our family was coming apart at the seams and no one we had spoken to was able to help or even to understand our problems.
The relief I felt when I first spoke to you is indescribable. You understood our family as if you were part of it. You were able to explain to me how we had got into this situation, reassure me that it was no-one’s fault and suggest how to move forward.
Since coaching, both our sons have improved immeasurably, especially in their attitude. Their consciences have kicked in and the thought of either of them doing anything wrong now is laughable. They both still have big difficulties with everyday life, but they have ceased to view themselves as failures.
With the aid of your strategies, they have been able to succeed in areas where before they were failing. This motivates them to keep trying – with many small successes, they are slowly getting to grips with life. They are both now on the NHS waiting list for treatment.
My husband has put your strategies in place and found they work, which gives him the confidence that he can improve things. Starting with small changes, he is now tackling much more fundamental issues. He’s more in control, more positive about himself and his work and much more cheerful – he’s back to singing in the shower (badly, but it’s nice to hear such unselfconscious joy)! The years are rolling back for him.
We are functioning better as a family – we all help and support each other. We are much more tolerant and all the screaming and weeping have stopped completely! We are such a calm, happy household now. I have had 30 years to talk to my family, to try and help them cope with life. You have had a matter of hours and have made such a difference." [From Richard’s wife]
Dear Andrew, I just wanted to say thank you for all the help and support you’ve given me in coaching. It has been invaluable beyond belief. I can’t even measure how healing it has been.
Your insight and understanding (depth of understanding!!) has had a huge impact on me feeling hopeful. It’s hard to admit certain bad habits, lifestyle problems to anyone in regards to our specific “make-up”. So to be able to do that and for you to be open with your experiences as a fellow ADDer is incredibly healing. Just wanted to say I will be eternally grateful."
Gaby has been looking for a coach for ages but has had firm ideas about the kind of person she wanted to talk to, to confide in and her journey from self diagnosis (similar to yours) at the age of 18 to now has been slow and often muddled, certainly expensive, often quite lonely but now we both feel she is finally getting some balance in her life. Instead of feeling so deeply sad about being different my husband and I are seeing a young woman who is enthusiastic about life and full of ideas about how to channel her considerable energy.
We feel she is intelligent, capable, with a huge heart, she is very wise and has a clarity about life, people, feelings that often takes us by surprise. It has been a frustrating journey for us too – knowing she is terrific and seeing how lacking in confidence she has been – her “lethargy” blocking all her good ideas and intentions. We feel she is becoming un-blocked and it is an adventure for us all. … So thank you, from the heart, from my husband and me – thank goodness we found you." [Letter from Gaby's mum]