Acceptance is painful

Why does ADHD draw more controversy than any other neurodiversity label?

ADHD Coaching

Clients see real wins in weeks - focus develops, goals stick, success grows

Acceptance of ADHD is painful
Written by
Andrew Lewis
ADHD Business Coach with 16,000+ hours of ADHD coaching experience

The very idea of ADHD confronts many presumptions

It seems that many people have a real problem accepting the scientific existence of ADHD. Journalists seem to have had the biggest problem? Fortunately that is changing but many doubts persist.

The scientific research evidence for ADHD is pretty overwhelming though. No doubt a significant group of children and adults have unexpected challenges in categories within Hyperactivity, Inattention and Impulsivity scales that cause them serious life problems. Two primary neuro-hormones, dopamine and noradrenaline(UK) / norepinephrine(US), seem to be involved. The main ADHD medications all help boost these two neurotransmitters. The high heritability of ADHD is very clear from family data, population studies, twin studies (NB environment has minimal effect), and genetic studies, still no clear blood test though.

There is no serious scientific debate about ADHD. Those who have or who are ADHD are statistically similar in many surprising ways, their behaviours, focus and interests do not relate to their history, experience, family, location, age, or IQ. They have common struggles and problems (eg procrastination), but also exhibit similar behaviours (eg jokey, people pleasing), emotional responses (eg RSD), interests (eg many, fleeting), thinking patterns (connecting every dot) and life outcomes (work struggles).

Many ADHDs

There are likely many forms of ADHD, with perhaps many causes from gene-patterns, brain injuries to the gut microbiome. In ADHD, as will all children, genetics show a greater influence on behaviour tha nurture. Steven Pinker cognitive scientist, linguist and science author, uses latest findings to show that over 80% of character is genetic, in his bestseller, The Blank Slate. I'm a dad, I want to believe my parenting mattered more than my genes to my child's character and personality but the science clearly says no.

The microbiome is an emerging player to the list of causes too - it's inherited by the way. The microbiome produces most of the signaling chemicals: serotonin, norepinephrine, dopamine, and GABA - used by the brain that affect ADHD. I suspect it may prove that some forms of ADHD come from how a child's inherited genes shape and manage their microbiome?

Controversy

By all means raise any concerns about stimulant medications, costs and over medicalising children but please don't muddle your concerns up with the reality of ADHD. It seems only natural to blame problems on parents or the ADHD adult but that's not the way the evidence clearly shows. So feel free to criticise societal and medical approaches, just stop saying:
  • “pharmaceutical companies make up ADHD for unfair profit”
  • “it’s just an excuse for bad behaviour or grades”
  • “everyone is disorganised at times”
  • “let kids be kids, don’t label them”
  • “they should try harder, do it like me…”

The science and reality is that an ADHD brain is different.

ADHD Exists

To accept that ADHD exists, is to admit that nature and chemicals play a far more significant part than parenting, nurture or “strength of character” in both personality and success. We are not all born the same. We do not all think or operate in the same way. We don't have the same abilities, interests or motivations.

For a sceptic, acceptance is painful.

Share this post

Andrew Lewis is an Adult ADHD Coach, writer and founder of SimplyWellbeing. He has over 16,000 hours of experience in coaching over 600 adults with ADHD. Andrew helps entrepreneurs and creatives with ADHD thrive and achieve wellbeing and is always happy to have a free chat to discuss coaching. Andrew ran a major ADHD support group and even an ADHD diagnostic clinic for a while. Andrew is an adult ADHD Coach backed with business expertise from a twenty years career in software, from roles in programming, through marketing, sales at IBM, then to running a few software start-ups.

Read more about Andrew

Facebook . Instagram . X . LinkedIn . YouTube - Pinterest

Microbiome affects our ADHD brains too
Our microbiome is instrumental in our mood, cognition and health. Treat it carefully
Greatest ADHD procrastinator Leonardo DaVinci
A tale of two procrastinators, Douglas Adams and Leonardo himself
Stephen Tonti on ADHD
An energetic and insightful TEDx talk from an ADHD entrepreneur.
Hyperfocused wolf
Deep yet uncontrolled focus
EFT for ADHD
We don't inhibit our ADHD emotions, so life is usually a roller coaster
Reading to work
One of my weirdest ADHD strategies
ADHD rebel
Genetically programmed to fight the system
Grateful for my breakfast
Gratitude is experimentally proven to be the fastest and laziest path to happiness!
Time management for ADHD
Find something else, something more practical to rebel against than time itself...
Laziness
The bane of my life, and probably your life too....
ADHD people have to learn to change
It's easy to lose hope, other people can help you regain it.
Inanimate objects
What happens when everything is connected?
Association of Coaching
SimplyWellbeing ADHD Coaching logo
Copyright © 2026 SimplyWellbeing

Website designed, written and created by Andrew Lewis, using Wordpress and Oxygen

49 Station Road, Polegate, East Sussex, BN26 6EA, United Kingdom

Association of Coaching
linkedin facebook pinterest youtube rss twitter instagram facebook-blank rss-blank linkedin-blank pinterest youtube twitter instagram